Tag Archives: help

Buh-Bye, Bridezilla.

It’s true. After my family threw me a beautiful shower, full of genuine love, I had a full-on panic attack. You can ask my maid of honor. I was ashamed to admit it to my mom, especially, but the entire two hours of gifts, and love, and games, I was tortured with thoughts of uncertainty: Are the guests happy? Am I funny enough? Are they bored? Have I thanked people enough? Do they really love me? 

And then it hit me: I’m going to ruin my wedding day for myself, my future husband, and all the people I love, if I don’t do something about my anxiety.

You see, wedding planning, or anything else for that matter, didn’t cause my anxiety. I did.

When I was in 2nd or 3rd grade, I realized that if I didn’t give my opinion, my friends wouldn’t be mad at me. The second I stuck up for something or said how I truly felt, inevitably, one of my friends would get mad.

“Well, easy. I just won’t be my full self.”

And that’s where it began. Since then, I’ve constantly worried about my life and what other people thought of it. I have told myself that if I am truly honest and truly vulnerable, that other people won’t like me.

The uncertainty about how other people will feel on my wedding day has been my focus. But the reality that I might ruin one of the most special days of my life has created a shift in me: I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS.

As the universe would have it, I ran into a woman named Dr. Kay Corpus. She’s using a holistic, integrative approach to help me get to the bottom of my anxiety and figure out what’s really going on.

I’ve made a lot of progress in our first two sessions, and as the wedding day approaches, I’m feeling calmer and calmer, which I think is a good sign.

I wrote this blog simply to tell you that if you have anxiety, if you fear the unknown, if you worry about what other people think, if you have thoughts that make your back hurt, your chest tight, or give you headaches…YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

You have the power to change your life. You have the power to set yourself free. It’s what I’m attempting to do right now, so that I can open myself up to a peaceful, fulfilled, authentic existence.

My wedding day is going to be a beautiful, uplifting, spiritual day, full of the love that Nick and I share. And it will be, because I will resonate those things from the inside-out.

I hope you’ll reach out to me if any of this resonated with you. Anxiety can be a very isolating experience, but it doesn’t have to be.

Lots of love,

Shayla

PS. While you’re planning the gorgeous details of your fabulous wedding, don’t forget to focus on the gorgeous details of your fabulous inner-being. 😉

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Life Hack: Make Space for Greatness

Recently, I did work for someone over the course of about 5 weeks and didn’t get paid for it. In fact, the person told me he doesn’t have the money to pay me at all or ever.

Upon hearing this, I was infuriated. It felt wrong. It felt bad. I was pissed.

We all encounter situations that are Less-Than-Desirable. It’s not what we planned; it’s inconvenient. It throws us off our alignment and balance. It’s part of our human experience.

But the above mentioned experience taught me that I can look at a Less-Than-Desirable circumstance and let it help me create a vision for What It Is That I Want.

When I chose to “let go” of that job and the fearful thoughts I had about losing payment, I created space for something more desirable. I made a conscious choice to say out loud, “the money will replace itself” and “money finds me.” They are affirmations that have served me well over the years, and I trust them, which is what makes them work.

Within 48 hours, I found out that I had a lump sum of money coming to me from an unexpected source that was over half  of what I was owed by my previous employer. Not only that, I was unexpectedly offered another gig. And I have ZERO doubt that the rest of the money will be made up shortly, with no extra effort needed on my part.

It’s really incredible what can happen if you simply let go of thoughts or circumstances that aren’t serving you, and create a space for what does. That takes a lot of trust, I know, especially when it’s a source of income. But I firmly believe the things you REALLY want lie in the space that is currently occupied by the things you don’t.

One of my favorite things to do is look for evidence in my day-to-day life that proves that the more I trust it, the more the universe supports me. Have you ever decided to trust and let go? Were you taken care of? I’d love to know.

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I NEED to stop saying this.

I NEED a new car.

I NEED to find a partner.

I NEED to make more money.

I NEED to workout tomorrow.

We all NEED so much these days, don’t we? I know I do.

But guess what? The more we repeat that mantra to ourselves, the more we acknoledge our lack of.  Repeating that simple word over and over throughout the day sucks the energy right out of our intentions. We’re actually less likely to make that thing happen because we’re recognizing and affirming our void.

You may NEED to get to the gym next week, but what if you started telling your friends that you are EXCITED to get back to your workout routine? What if you said you will really ENJOY eating fresh fruit for breakfast tomorrow morning? Maybe you are feeling GIDDY about the possibility of meeting someone new this week. What if you found it THRILLING to imagine finding a job that allows you to travel and afford to buy groceries for a stranger whenever you want?

It may feel funny and fake at first, but if you continue to retrain your thought patterns, you might notice you start to really believe the positive affirmation. 

TRY IT: 

Fill in the blank and say out loud: I NEED __________.

Repeat that 10 times.

Now rephrase: I’m so EXCITED to ____________.

Repeat that 10 times.

Did you immediately feel like what you want is more possible?

What is that you are EXCITED to accomplish this week?

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Creating a Show-Up, Not Give-Up Kinda Life

Fitness matters. It matters more than calories in, calories out. It matters more than a number on a scale. It even matters more than getting a six pack by June (and, yes, that has recently been a hashtag on my Insta).

Since moving to Las Vegas two months ago, there has hardly been a day that I haven’t sweat or pushed myself beyond what I thought my physical limits were. And while I have seen significant and welcome changes to my physique, the real change has been mental.

I’m learning that pain and struggle are surmountable, that challenge isn’t a bad word and that if you keep showing up, it does get easier. It becomes your lifestyle to keep showing up.

I had a meeting with a commercial agent today that didn’t go very well. She told me that she had no room for me, she wouldn’t book me and that I looked much older than my picture. Folks, that hurt. I most definitely had a moment of “can I handle this?” going through my head.

But then I went on a run tonight. And let me express how much I am intimidated by running. I don’t think I’m built for it and I kind of, sort of hate it, but I know I’ve got to show up and challenge myself in that area.

During the run I thought to myself, “This is why I workout. If you just keep going, despite being uncomfortable, despite the pain, despite feeling like giving up, you’re eventually to get what you want.”

Okay, so I didn’t think EXACTLY that. But it was something like that, interjected with thoughts about my burning calves, tight chest and the stupidity I felt for running right after downing some pork chops and quinoa.

The point it is, I can’t let someone’s opinion stop me from doing what I love to do and I can’t let a little burn in my calves stop me from finishing the run. Every day that I get up and push myself physically a little further than I’ve been before, I’m also creating a mental toughness that will feed the rest of my life.

Get up and get out there. Though I do suggest you start sweating doing something you love, not something you kind of, sort of hate. 😉

Shayla

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The Year of YES

2014 is The Year of YES!

When you’re offered an opportunity that scares you a little, challenges you, or puts you a bit outside your comfort zone, do you say YES?

Instead, do you feel a tightness in your chest when you say NO? Are you shutting off the voice inside that is saying “DO IT!”? If so, you’re probably missing out.

I’ve started to think about my life as an actual road trip. As I travel, I get to chose which turns I make, how fast I go, and what people I pick up along the way. Make no mistake about it: the relationships you choose to develop will determine your journey. The people you meet along the way know someone that will be your next client, have the sources to take you to the next level, will inspire you, challenge you and offer you chances to further yourself toward your goals. But if you say NO to that coffee date, networking meeting, yoga class, free seminar, audition, or chance to show your skills, well…you’ve decided not to see what’s behind Curtain Number 1, which could be a BRAND NEW CAR!

Okay, maybe not. But, maybe.

I can’t even begin to explain how fruitful the Year of Yes has been for me and it’s only Spring! I’ve done work for free, bartered services and talents, traveled hundreds of miles for a chance at a gig, invested in new equipment, made friends out of strangers–all in the name of YES. Most of these actions have led to new and exciting opportunities for my career.

You only have something to gain by following your highest intuition and saying YES to things that challenge you to grow a bit beyond yourself. One day, saying YES will be our second nature and then can you imagine where we’ll be?

Tell me one thing you’re going to say YES to below. I’d love to hear from you!

You can also find me on Facebook.

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Shoot and Score- The Corniest Title of My Blog Thus Far

I’m going to be honest with you. I don’t feel very “Positively Shayla” today. In fact, I feel pretty much like crap. I had to literally sit my workout clothes outside the shower at 3pm so I would be forced to put them on without leaving the bathroom. I haven’t worked out in over a week and I’m starting to drag. My outlook is 95% more glum if I don’t sweat on the regular.

I’m also in a period of “uncertainty” right now. I have NO idea what the next year of my life is going to look like. I know what I want to accomplish, but a lot of that is going to rely on where geographically I am in the country and that folks, is anyone’s guess.

So, I really needed to write something today. I need to write to get myself into a new feeling.

Recently my boyfriend Nick and I were over at his friend’s house who has one of those arcade basketball hoop games. You know what I’m talking about? With the mini basketballs and such? Well, anyhoo, they have this VERY dramatic whiteboard on the refrigerator that keeps tally of the all-time top scores. It’s serious stuff. The last time we were there, Nick left the high score on the board at something like 103. As to be expected, he was pretty confident about it.

We come back to his friend’s house this next time and whaddyaknow? Someone BEAT his score with 113. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? Well, now he had to do something about it. Nick played that game over and over and over for the next twenty minutes, determined to beat the score. And guess what? He did. He left his friend’s house that night with his name on the board and a new all-time high of 116 points.

I tell you all of this for a reason, trust me. While beating a hoops game is all fun and good, the real point I’m trying to make here is 116 didn’t seem possible the first night we were there. No one had ever done that before. It wasn’t until he saw 113 that Nick KNEW he could beat it. He set his sites on a specific number and he accomplished it.

I think there’s something to learn here. We’ve got to get specific about what we want or we’ll never know what we can accomplish. Not only do we have to know what we want to accomplish, but we’ve got to know that it’s possible. Nick saw that someone else had done it, so why couldn’t he? Our long-term goals are the same.

What outfit are you going to wear on which date on the calendar? What job are you going to have next year and how much it going to pay? How many deep friendships will you cultivate in the next 12 months and what will those friendships look like?

Seek out others who have accomplished what you’re trying to do and go do it. Do it better, even.

Let’s take some cues from the bachelor pad board of fame and put our names on the whiteboard! (just let me have it)

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Estroblock Pro: My Acne Miracle

If you know me extremely well, you know that one of my biggest insecurities for the last eight or so years has been my acne. I never had terrible cases, but it definitely affected the way I interacted with people and how social I was at points in my life. In the past couple years it has gotten better, but I’ve still dealt with hormonal acne on the chin and jaw line; cysts that last for weeks and leave long lasting scars. I tried many remedies to no avail.

I wrote a blog a few months ago about giving up ProActive in favor of a natural cleanser and manuka honey and while I am ELATED at the results (my face is younger looking, my complexion more even, my face looks more nourished), it didn’t fix the hormonal acne.

That’s when a friend (or shall I say ANGEL) recommended Estroblock Pro. It had changed my face. It’s a natural supplement in pill form. Not cheap, but my god was it effective for me! Within ONE MONTH of taking the recommended dose (religiously) my acne was completely gone. I haven’t had one single cyst in over two and half months. It seriously is my miracle and I wanted to share this with anyone that might have the same problem I did.

What is it?

It’s an all natural compound extracted from broccoli and cruciferous vegetables that helps your liver metabolize bad estrogen that we get from the food we eat and our environment, i.e. plastic. It is basically a detox for hormonal balancing.

According to the Estroblock website:

“Xenoestrogens are often produced by toxins commonly found in our food and homes that, left unchecked, will dilute our naturally produced hormones and cause major health problems such as acne, obesity, or even breast and prostate cancers.”

The best part is, it’s working for many more people than just me! If you go to Amazon and read the reviews, most of them are glowing reports similar to mine.

It probably sounds like I’m trying to sell you on this, but I just feel incredibly passionate about spreading the word.

Estroblock Website

I hope someone benefits from reading this!

Love,

Shayla

 

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