I stopped running and then it found me.

My entire life I’ve been on the move. After college, I didn’t spend more than a few months in one city before I was jetting off to another! Sometimes it felt like progress because I’d be moving for a job or leaving to go on a multiple city tour, but there were also times that I just felt like nothing was happening in my life, so I better leave to go find itMaybe I’d move to California or Mexico or go teach in Europe or move home to Indiana?! It would be awesome for awhile. Change has always been exciting for me. After awhile though, the same sinking feeling of being unfulfilled would start to sink in. I wanted another change and another, never actually finding what I wanted.

My latest move brought me back to my roots; in good ole’ Southern Indiana. I felt like it was the right move for me and I had this gut feeling that it was meant to be.  Well, it was meant to be alright, but I had NO IDEA what I was really in for. What this move did for me was force me to stay in one place for an extended period of time. I got a job. I made commitments. I made promises. I rooted myself for awhile. There have been moments over the past year where I’ve thought “What have I done? I’m trapped!”  I felt the urge to run away. The beautiful thing is, I couldn’t. I had to stay and feel the growing pains. You see, before, whenever I felt the pains start, I wouldn’t let them finish. I’d get my fix of change to satisfy me until they started up again. This time, I stayed and waited. I waited and waited and waited for the feelings to pass. And they did.

It wasn’t long until I started searching right where I was for my answers. I started making things happen for myself WITHOUT changing my latitude and longitude. The result has been remarkable. I have made more things happen for my career, love life, body and mind in my freakin’ hometown than I did in four years traveling in over 25 states and 3 countries. Whhhat? It’s true! Because I forced myself to feel all the feelings, I reaped incredible amounts of growth.

Now, I’m not saying that I won’t be traveling and exploring in the future. I’d personally like to see every surface of the globe in my lifetime (I think it’s reasonable). I’m just expressing the miracle I’ve seen in my own life; waiting out the hard stuff, to get to the good stuff. Ralph Waldo Emerson says it best:

 “Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.”

Mmmhm. Good stuff, Ralph.

And I don’t think he’s only referring to physical travel. I like to believe he means all kinds of escapes. We use different methods of escaping our realities everyday.  We use relationships, the internet, our work, our friends, food, alcohol, you name it! We use it.  I’m finding that the more I sit and wait out the hurt or discomfort, without making any drastic decisions, the more powerful I eventually feel.

Hill Harper is another incredible mind. He said:

“The most effective way to heal is to “grow” through the hurt, and that takes strength, courage, and commitment. “

Oh, Hill, you have a way with words.

We must find the strength and courage to commit to the wait. We have no idea what exciting gifts are around the corner, but they gotta know our addresses to find us.


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