This morning I was inspired by a woman named Glennon Doyle Melton. She wrote the bestseller Carry On, Warrior and she, to me, exemplifies what it means to be a truth seeker and a truth teller. Not only does she bravely open up about her struggles and her victories, but she does it in a way that makes you fall in love with her. You fall in love with who she is and who she isn’t because she tells the truth about both. All I can say is, if you aren’t following her on Momastery, you might want to consider doing it, BUT she won’t know because she announced today that she’s going on a 40-day internet cleanse. Her blog post about it can be found here. The blog itself really got me thinking and I want to expand with some of my own thoughts on the topic.
I don’t think that I can describe the social media yearning for that “thing” any better than she does (so I really suggest you read hers!), but sometimes I get that itch to write and I just have to scratch it. Social Media has become a way of life for many of us. It’s an incredible thing and serves important purposes that were previously unmatched by any other medium. I can only speak for myself, though, when I say that it’s becoming an addiction.
Yesterday, something awesome happened in my life- something I’ve wanted has come to fruition. The second I found out, I immediately called my Mom, my Dad and my boyfriend and, get this, NONE OF THEM ANSWERED. What?? I found myself dumbfounded. How was it supposed to feel real if someone else didn’t rejoice with me?
My first instinct was to update my Facebook status. Seriously. I needed someone to tell me that I’d done a good job. I needed someone to say “you are worthy of my attention right now”. I needed someone else to know what I’d done, so it could feel real.
Here’s the thing: It’s awesome to celebrate with the people you love! It’s also totally valid to want to share great news with friends, acquaintances, and, heck, even strangers. But when I start to need their approval for events to feel real in my own heart, I’ve got to pause, reverse and take a moment for myself.
Glennon puts it like this:
Because over every celebration hangs the question,“so, what’s next?” And so there is no satisfaction, no peace. It’s never done. It’s never good enough.
And this is why it is so important for us to take the time to define success for ourselves. Because if we let the world do it for us, the world will keep moving the finish line again and again and accidentally suck us dry. And we might do something awful like make ourselves sick or quit doing what we love to do. The world will NEVER say to us- “Enough, sweetheart. You did well. Relax and take care of yourself and your family and your friends and your dogs. Forever, if you’d like.”
She goes on to say that the moments we are really looking for, the moments that fulfill us for longer than those 10 incredible minutes when everyone is fawning over you and your accomplishments, are in and around us already. They are in our families, our children, our day-to-day, simple happenings that make us get goosebumps and look up at the sky and feel thankful to be where we are.
I’m coming to terms with my own need for validation right now, with this “good news” I’d like to share with the world. For now, I’m keeping it to myself and my closest allies. I’m going to feel every moment of it for myself and when the time is right, when I’ve sucked every living good feeling out of it, I’ll share it with everyone.
I want things to feel real without the internet. I want moments to be cherished just as they are, while they’re happening. I’m not giving up on social media yet, don’t get me wrong. I love me some baby pictures and keeping in touch with my far-away friends, but I want to find a balance. Balance is good. Life is good.
Until next time,